On a whim, I called my mom on the way home from a board meeting on a 5% cell phone battery. I hadn’t expected her to answer or call back. Her memory was spotty and her understanding of how to check her voicemail had been diminishing. I can’t recall the context of our conversation, but I told her “You know, you’re my biggest fan!” and she thanked me.

That was an unexpected response, but all my mom ever wanted was for my sister and me to know we are loved unconditionally by her and my dad. I then told her that she may be tied for first place with my husband Craig. She took no offense. My comment only made her heart grow fuller, knowing all ways Craig takes care of me.

This was one of the final conversations I had with my Mom, about a month before she passed away. It was brief, with that 5% battery power remaining on my phone, but I’m glad I called. I’m glad she picked up!

I’ll miss the calming effect my mom had on me and so many others. She taught us kindness, understanding, and how to give love freely. She acted as peacekeeper, educator, and sometimes as entertainer. She believed in me and she was proud of me no matter what, through my revolving, diverse interests, career twists, and relationship ups and downs. She can rest peacefully knowing I’m giving back to loved ones and strangers just as she did.

Two things my parents loved about me were my doggedly adventurous spirit (you know –  my wanderlust) and this blog, capturing my stories of travel, discovery, and a vibrant life. She’d read my stories – always! She’d comment “Blog on!”  She thought I should be working for National Geographic, sharing my images and words with the world. I had a great mom!

Now that my mom is reunited with my dad, I’m keeping one of her favorite T-shirts. It celebrates our shared love and repeated requests of Santa for a hippopotamus for Christmas. That’s all we wanted, to play with and enjoy. Seeing the shirt reminds me of my mom’s silliness, lightheartedness, and sense of humor. This summer Craig and I drove across the country to meet Mars the baby pigmy hippo, so I’m keeping my Mom’s hippo Christmas shirt.

From time to time, I share writing that isn’t mine – words that capture moments, relationships, or perspectives more beautifully than I ever could. What follows is a letter written by a parent of one of my mother’s students, from many years ago. It speaks to me because of its honesty, warmth, and the way it reflects the voices of her students so sincerely.

I’m sharing this letter here exactly as it was written, as a guest contribution, preserving the original words, punctuation, and voice of the author. It was submitted as part of the application process for a ‘Heart of the School’ award my mother was honored to receive. After that, you’ll read the kind words, heartfelt sentiments, and expressions of admiration from loved ones, shared after her passing.

Mom never liked it when folks consoled her with “I’m sorry for your loss” because she never felt that she’d lost my father, his affection or companionship. She always told me she knew they would be together again one day.

Transcribed verbatim from original letter

Mrs. O’Dowd is my daughter Elizabeth’s fourth grade teacher. I assist at school and her classroom whenever I can because I enjoy it so. Mrs. O’Dowd also has many of my Girl Scouts and Cub Scouts in her classroom. So I hear many wonderful things about her. I decided to ask many of them, what makes Mrs. O’Dowd so special? They are ten, so they speak straight from the heart. Here is what they said.

“Mrs. O’Dowd loves us, even the bad kids. She loves being a teacher. She makes us feel smart even when we aren’t. She makes us act good, even when we don’t want to. She never yells. She makes learning lots and lots of fun, even the boring stuff. She plays the music with no words so our minds open up. She tells us about her relatives and tells them about us. She knows Girl Scouts are cool. She helps us when we have trouble with work. She helps us when we have trouble with our heart. She went to the store the day Tarzan came out and bought it for us. She loves art and made us artists. She gives hugs.”

In front of Mrs. O’Dowd’s classroom is an old tattered crazy quilt, at least a hundred years old. It sits there unnoticed by many. But to her students they see themselves in that quilt. They may notice pieces that they hadn’t the day before. They notice the flaws, but they accept them. They notice the beautiful parts and share them with others. They learn how to accept themselves from that quilt.

You see Mrs. O’Dowd does a wonderful job teaching her students academics. They are the brightest class, because of the light she has lit in them. I could tell you about all the extra activities, tutoring, Rainbows, storytelling, Girl Scouts etc., but that will be listed elsewhere in the application.

What I will tell you about is when the girls’ basketball coach died during their game, she kept those girls close the next day. She kept them under her wing for the rest of the year. She wrote a song with her class about safety, tolerance and diversity. She applied for and her class was selected to be editors for the next Chicken Soup for the Soul book. Some stories were tough to experience. She helped them feel and learn from these stories. She takes such an interest in her students and seeks help for those that need it. They are always learning. Where Mrs. O’Dowd is, her BrainQuest cards are. Dismissal is never noisy and confusing. They are listening to and answering educational trivia.

Mrs. O’Dowd is such an extraordinary teacher, it made me wish I could go back to the fourth grade.

Sincerely,
Irene M. Crea

Comments from others, on my mom’s life and the impact she had on so many friends and family.

“My sweet, lovely friend. So many happy memories!!! Give Tom a big hug from me. I’ll miss talking with you. Thank you for being my friend!!!” (Janice Prechtel)

“Oh Jenny, my hearts breaks for you. What a good family you grew up up in. Such good values and love. I hope you and your sister can find some peace. Love you.” (Sheila Hafeman Wright)

“My sweet girl, I know you and Tom are together in Heaven. My heart is broken. Thank you for including me in your life. We have been friends for 59 years. What a role model you were. I always told you that you were God’s angel on earth. Rest in peace sweet girl.” (Janice Prechtel)

“The kindest person. Will always love and cherish Aunt Marilyn.  So glad she is dancing with Tommy again.” (Suzanne Gonalez)

“Oh Kat, i’m so very sorry for your loss. May you find comfort in the memories of the love you shared with her.” (Eugenia Romero Cabrera)

“There will be tears on earth but singing in heaven you will carry her love in her heart forever.” (Dawn Kannon)

“I’m so sorry to hear of the passing of your mom. She was so proud of you and your sister .She loved you both so much as you did her. I could see it in the posts she wrote. Thinking of you, Kathleen, your family and all those who knew Marilyn. My deepest condolences.” (Holly Wetmore-Kemeter)

“Will miss Marilyn so much. She was the sister I never had. But I know she is happy now with Tommy.” (Annette O’Dowd Bailey)

“Sending you so much love, peace and comfort tonight and in the days ahead.” (Kate Farrel Williams)

“I am saddened to hear about your mom. It is difficult to lose a parent. Knowing that she is reunited with your dad should release some sense of happiness for her. Hold the many beautiful memories close to your heart. I extend my condolences to you, Tom and Dilana. Hugs” (Mary Anderson)

“Sending Heartfelt sympathy to Everyone who Loves her. I have the Best memories of your mom and dad, sharing the laughter and fun we had during the St. Barbara Nights of the Dolphin fundraiser we were a part of! They were the so Kind, Sweet, Genuine, Simply The Best!” (Karen Licitra)

“I wish I could wrap my arms around you and Kathleen right now, and squeeze you tight. Lots of hugs and tears would be shed with you and for her. I miss the Mickey Mouse pancakes (which by the way, I recreated for my boys when they were younger). Your mom was an amazing human with a kind and gentle soul. I’m sad for her passing but happy that she has finally found peace and will be with your dad. Love you both.” (April Weller Toxey)

“Your mom and dad were very kind and cordial to me. They are united in heaven looking with pride at their daughters and grandchildren. With deep sorrow, I will have the class pray for her.” (David Mariotti – Our Lady of the Snows)

“My condolences to you and your family. I believe writing through our grief is a wonderful way to remember and honor our parents when they leave this world. I look forward to reading the tribute to your mom in ‘Accidental Wanderlust’.” (Amy Graham)

“Sucha sweet lady. Love, hugs, and prayers.” (Joan Birdsong)

“Oh sweethearts. Sending lots of love.” (Nita Sweeney)

“A wonderful and fulfilling part of being a parent is watching your kids grow into good, caring, smart and loving adults. You definitely gave that to your mom She was a wonderful person. This is one of the hardest parts of life.” (Loretta Brockmeir)

Join me on my next adventure,

~ Kat

Related links:

MARILYN E. O’DOWD Obituary

THOMAS A. O’DOWD Obituary

I shared my love for my Dad 8 years ago: Nature vs. Nurture: a Journey that Began Before I Took my 1st Breath (A Tribute to my Father, Thomas A. O’Dowd)